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Posted on August 22, 2016 at 1:25 PM Comments comments (2)

  Forgiveness is not always easy. At times, it feels more painful than the wound we suffered, to forgive the one who inflicted it. And yet there is no peace without forgiveness.

I always thought that I really handled my emotions well until I realized I spent years bottling them away, internalizing them, which ultimately contributed to the manifestation of a serious digestive disorder. I knew I had to find other ways to deal with my emotions- my anger, my resentment, my sadness, and my self critical nature. I would beat myself up daily for never being pretty enough, good enough, thin enough, never being where Ithought I should be in life, beating myself up for the things I did, for the things I didn’t do….and the list goes on and on and on.

It wasn’t until I actually listened to my self talk and paid attention to my emotions when they arose, that I discovered how I spent the majority of my day being pissed off, angry, frustrated, sad, and worried. I did not handle my emotions well nor did I understand forgiveness. Emotions are neither good or bad, but not processing them and allowing them to stay “charged” in the body was causing internal conflict. I was not forgiving myself for my imperfections and forgiving others for the wounds they had inflicted on me. And due to this, the internal struggle continued impacting my overall health. 

I couldn’t forgive myself for the failure of an 8 year relationship. I couldn’t forgive myself for all my imperfections. I grew very resentful towards my family for allowing constant negativity and toxic relationships to continue and never choosing to do anything to improve the situation. I was frustrated, angry, and my body/mind was filled with chaos and no peace. There was too much emotional bullshit. We have to deal with our emotions and if we don’t it will negatively impact our life and health and prevent us from being the person we are meant to be in this lifetime.

So I had to break the vicious cycle. True forgiveness prevents other people form destroying your heart. I knew that I needed peace in my own heart to continue my journey on this planet. I searched for different techniques, affirmations, counseling, regression therapy, holistic systems to help me with this. They all have served their purpose in helping me grow as a person.

One of the most simple and effective ways I have found to forgive is this very simple prayer that was given to me by Whitney Lamb who I randomly (truly nothing is a coincidence) met through the internet. I followed the instructions given and said the prayer in the morning and evening. Then one morning after I said the prayer, I just broke down. Tears flowed through my eyes, but they were not tears of sadness but tears of gratitude. I had come to terms with myself and with the person I needed to forgive. Something had lifted and I felt it. The emotions and pain I felt towards this person and myself had shifted. So I am sharing it with all of you, in hopes that you too can find some peace in your life.

Forgiveness is the only way to heal and a gift to your heart! You deserve it.


Directions: Every morning before you wake and every evening before you sleep for at least 10 days to two weeks, you are to sit and be still. Close your eyes. Picture the soul you wish to forgive smiling and happy. Then say the following, out loud, to this soul:

“____________________, I forgive You for Everything you’ve ever said or done to me in thought, word, or deed that has caused me pain in this or in any other lifetime.

You are Free and I am Free

And ________________, I ask that you forgive Me for Anything that I’ve ever said or done to you in thought, word, or deed in this or any other lifetime that has caused you pain.

You are Free and I am Free

Thank you, God for this opportunity to forgive ______________ and to forgive myself.”

You will “Know” when to cease saying this on a daily basis when you have True Release sometime after 10 to 2 weeks. That release may be crying, laughter, a feeling of well-being…anything. You will also find that you have changed your attitude towards this soul and that this soul’s attitude will change towards you too! You will now begin to really see what the problem is and begin to work with that Karma and neutralize it, freeing yourself from pain, becoming happier, healthier and more peaceful in mind, body, and spirit.

Please consider using this prayer so that you may have a new sense of freedom and Love in your heart. Amen! 


Posted on July 31, 2016 at 6:10 PM Comments comments (0)

What is a miracle?

The dictionary defines a miracle as the following:

1) A surprising and welcoming even that is not explicable by nature or scientific laws and is therefor considered to be the work of a divine agency

2) A highly improbable or extraordinary event, development, or accomplishment that brings very welcome consequence

3) An amazing product or achievement, or an outstanding example of something.

Do miracles occur? Are they just divine interventions from God? Can you go through life not experiencing any miracles? Or do we just not see the miracles around us?

There was a time that I didn’t believe in miracles. When I had lost faith and couldn’t understand why God would allow certain events to happen to my family.

Rewind back to 1996 when my dad was involved in a fight with his farm neighbor that resulted in this neighbor’s death. I was a freshman in high school at the time. I remember being in total shock about what was happening. My dad was being charged with murder. How could this happen? I remember going to school only to hear more gossip. “So, I hear your dad is a murderer?” That was a great way to start my day in science class. Part of me wanted to die or at least punch this kid in his face. I was not on trial but it sure seemed like it.

I remember the trial like it was yesterday. I remember sitting in the courtroom listening to the judge’s verdict: GUILTY! I remember reading the newspaper portraying my dad as a monster. I remember the sentencing. I wrote this huge letter to the judge begging for forgiveness and a lesser sentence. It didn’t work. He was sentenced to 10 years for manslaughter. I remember the day he went into the prison. Watching him walk into a facility to live behind bars for the next 10 years.

I remember feeling hopeless. I fell into a deep depression over the summer not wanting to get out of bed or see my friends. I saw my family struggle to come to terms with what had happened. I gained 30 pounds, which does not make you the most attractive gal in high school. I just didn’t give a shit about anything. So these miracles-where were they? They were not there to help my family or my dad? God was not with me or by my side. Or so I thought.

The truth is that miracles were all around me…. I just didn’t see them. I was blinded by my pain, anger, and sadness.

The miracles were my amazing friends who forced me to get out of bed and enjoy life and who loved me for me with no judgment.

The miracles were my swim team members and my coaches who became a second family to me when mine was falling apart. And the throwing squad and coaches of the track team for all the support.

The miracles were my coworkers at the pool who constantly made me laugh and smile.

The miracles were my teachers in high school, who pushed me to continue to challenge myself and grow as a person.

The miracle was my family that supported each other through the good times and bad.

The miracles were my grandparents who never gave up on my dad; they put a lot of their resources to fighting for an appeal for him. And to the new lawyers that got my dad a second trial and who highlighted the evidence that the underlying cause of death was a cardiac event that occurred during the fight.

And finally to GOD who after an eight-month prison term, gave my dad and my family a second chance. My dad was found NOT GUILTY at the second trial.

So you see, so many miracles around me; it was just that I didn’t see all the blessings. The true miracles were my friends, my teachers, my co-workers, and my teammates-the people who inspired me to see the good in myself, in each other, and in the world. And to a God who was right there by my side the whole time even when I had lost my faith.

My whole life has been filled with so many blessings and miracles. Even during some of the most difficult times in my life when I became filled with unhappiness, sadness, fear, frustration and anger, I can look back now and see the miracles and the blessings in disguise. God continues to show me what is possible in this world and he continues to put certain people in my path just to put me in awe of his glory. Miracles are always there whether I see them or not.

Today I challenge you to look around at all the miracles and blessings in your life. Albert Einstein once said the following: “There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though nothing is as miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.” The big question is how do you want to live your life?